We perpetuate rape culture on a daily. Our voluntary ignorance and dissociation from rape culture helps no one but fuels back to that very culture.
I hate coupling rape with culture because in my mind, the word “culture”, gives it a dignity it does not deserve. A look at the constant fear women live in and the statistics they are clothed in however, does not let the societal habit rape has become to be denied or ignored- yet we do.
The reality is that women and children are dying at our hands and will – this is not, in a single fraction, an “emotional” outcry – but trauma that is their daily lived experience. NO MAN OWNS ANY WOMAN’S BODY AND IS A RULER OF HER BODY OR LIFE.
I wonder where this spirit of entitlement came from. Where do we get this tradition of taking, taking by force, taking by crushing spirits, just… taking? When did we stop empathizing and please pass me with that nonsense of “men are not emotional beings” this is not about emotions you refuse to acknowledge because you sadly think that that is manly, this is about being humane. When did we get to a point of normalising our trudging forward, ignoring our conscience and silencing our humanity as we, like animals, ignore and silence women and children? Even animals are above us because they act within the rules and binds of their animalistic realm. What is our excuse?
It’s not about what you have done or have not done. It is about what you should have done but did not because you did not want to appear as less of a man, when in fact, that would have exhibited the male caliber that we all should aspire to be, that we should be.
It is not about what you said or did not say. It is about your keeping silent when you should talk because you believe it to be none of your business when in actual fact it is because those you care for who are females live in the same world as the speaker you seek to ignore. It is about what you say in encouragement of behaviour you will never want your ghost knowing you applauded all in the name of fitting in.
It is simple. Let’s shut the heck up in trying to defend our stupid fragile egos and channel all that energy to unlearning, keeping each other in check and calling out rape acts/conduct and ensuring that an effective justice system is dealing with the unsavoury behavior. We all know and are guilty of a number of things that leave women and children uncomfortable and feeling unsafe. In fact, we as men have experiences or encounters with other men that left us feeling uncomfortable or unsafe. So the “not all men” empty counter thought is pure hogwash.
Enough talking, let’s employ solutions now. I might not have brought them but if you do, bring them forward.